“LAST NIGHT’S DREAM” BY AMY HABEN

LAST NIGHT’S DREAM #1 [12/2/2021]

Last night’s dream: I was going on a first date with a handsome, 30-something Geraldo Rivera who lived in a beautiful house in the Hollywood Hills. I think it’s funny that of all the people I could subconsciously swoon after my mind decides on the guy from 90’s daytime TV who interviewed cheaters and street punks.

I entered his lush and spacious patio area, which was cozy and private, but sadly, had no pool. He had these huge hands that I was imagining would be gripping my waist later on in the evening. I was really perving out on this guy. He invited me inside. I left my beautiful Alexander McQueen bag on the patio, after all I wasn’t in NYC anymore.

We sat down on his leather couch and he poured me a drink. He held me while we talked intimately. Just as things were heating up, a twenty-one-year-old Natalie Wood purrs, “Hi Daddy,” at the sliding glass back door entrance– interrupting us.

The night before I watched a documentary called, Natalie Wood: What Remains Behind. It’s an enthralling and intimate peek into Natalie’s life. She had a controlling, narcissistic stage mom who guilt-tripped her about money if she didn’t perform perfectly while trying for a part.

Natalie was her family’s sole supporter. Her mother and father were Russian immigrants and after her father had some health problems, she had to step to the plate as a child. She was never allowed to have a normal childhood. She grew up in trailers on the studio grounds. When she tried out for Rebel Without A Cause, her parents were against it. They thought it would tarnish her squeaky-clean image as America’s sweetheart. Ironically, this was the first time Natalie rebelled against her parents’ wishes. Even having the police call director Nicholas Ray instead of her parents when she got into a drunken car accident with Dennis Hopper.

Natalie wanted to prove she was a bad girl. When the doctor at the hospital called Natalie a juvenile delinquent, Wood pointed that out to Nicholas Ray was urging her to play a delinquent, so she was practicing for the part in “Rebel.” Before filming started, the 44-year-old director had an affair with the then 16-year-old Natalie at the Chateau Marmont. When her best friend questioned her about the age difference, Natalie replied, “I like older men.”

Some feel this tryst helped her get the part. I don’t think it’s fair to say that is why she slept with him though.

In the documentary, Natalie’s daughter, Natasha, interviews her stepfather, Robert Wagner, who denies the claims that he had anything to do with Natalie’s death that fateful night in 1981. Christopher Walken, Robert Wagner and Natalie had gone on a routine weekend cruise on their boat to Catalina that evening. It was raining in LA, so her female friend backed out and regrets her decision to this day. After much drinking, Robert broke a wine bottle on the table after Christopher told him he should encourage her to act more instead of staying home with the kids.

Robert told Christopher to stay out of her life. The speculation is that Robert was jealous of Christopher who was Natalie’s love interest in her latest movie, Brainstorm. While others on set say there was absolutely no sexual chemistry between them during the lovemaking scene, adding disbelief that an affair was going on. Natalie’s daughters fully believe in Wagner’s innocence and want the press to stop running negative stories on him. An eerie fact within this story is that Natalie’s mother had a psychic tell her that. “She would have a child who would be known internationally,” but that, “someone will die by drowning.”

Natalie’s sister Lana claims Natalie was always scared of giant bodies of water. Their mother specified to beware of dark water. This checks out in a way since Natalie was carefree on the family boat and in her pool but had quite a scary time filming a drowning scene for one of her previous films. Another strange theory (which wasn’t mentioned in the documentary) is that a curse was made on the actors who worked on Rebel Without A Cause. Natalie’s co-stars James Dean and Sal Mineo also died under tragic circumstances.

Anyway, back to my dream– suddenly, Geraldo was somewhere else. Completely enthralled by the gorgeous Natalie and her big brown eyes. He excused himself and took her into his bedroom, “to talk.” Yeah, right!

I was jealous and disgusted by their flirtation. You see, in my dream, Geraldo was Natalie’s former stepfather. She maintained a relationship with him after her mother divorced him and turned to him for comfort.

I peeked into his bedroom through the cracked door. Natalie was sitting on his lap– her arms cradling his muscular neck. Weird. Once they finally surfaced from the bedroom, I pretended to be happy and unassuming. Natalie hugged Geraldo and kissed him on the cheek and said her goodbyes. She flashed me a smile and waved as she disappeared through the back door.

I tried to get back to our sensual fore-play, but I could tell Geraldo’s mind was elsewhere. He still picked me up and deposited me in his shower where we had sex and washed each other, but I could see his eyes were distant.

Afterwards, we were talking in the living room when a noise came from the back yard. All of a sudden, a gang of youthful white people with menacing faces emerged from the bushes. I alerted Geraldo. He told me this particular cult had been after him for decades after he showed them in a bad light on his TV show. He said he would handle it. As he approached the door, one guy grabbed my purse and took off with it. I screamed. I had $500 in there and my ID.

Geraldo sat me down on the couch and earnestly explained that material possessions don’t matter. Hmm… Maybe he’s a Buddhist? Well, it’s better than Scientology. We were safe from harm and the gang was gone. Now I had to figure out how to get this guy to fall in love with me…

I should note that Natalie Wood part of my dream I can explain away to the documentary I fell asleep to last night. But Geraldo, on the other hand, I cannot. He’s a former liberal who’s now a Fox News contributing commentator. Ugh! Legs also told me his real name is Jerry Rivers and he changed it to Geraldo Rivera to sound more Puerto Rican. My lady boner instantly vanished.

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